Those are the sentences a young Vietnamese pupil usually writes to answer to the topic at a test . How significant a dinner is when members of family have not met each other for a long time! When some foreigners want to explore Vietnamese culture, they often come to families, go to local markets and buy things for a meal. Is this the way to learn how to cook? The answer is "Yes" but the result is more than that.

Traditional values ofVietnamese lifestyle were deeply affected by Confucian ethics. Duringthousand years under the invasion and domination by Chinese, Vietnameseculture was also permeated by their Confucian philosophical beliefs. Itwas believed that "in order to achieve human perfection, one mustfollow the established codes of behavior which include reverence forancestors and respect for elders...The importance is not upon theindividual's accomplishments but upon his duty to family and society"

Forcenturies in Vietnam, traditional family values were accomplished bythe fulfillment of traditional roles - the role of man and woman asparents. Since the highest status in Vietnamese families is given tothe man or the father, he had absolute authority in the household. Ashe provided the main source of income, he was never expected to work inthe kitchen or to cook. After work, he returned home and relaxed. As ahead of household, he had the final decision in all matters. Thefather, however, had the duty to exercise restraint and wisdom inrunning his family in order to deserve his respected position.

Havinga boy in family was a "must" because the eldest son would assume theduties of his father when he died. A family which had no son tocontinue the process was superstitiously thought to have disappearedforever.

Ina patriarchal society, Vietnamese woman had limited rights and took asecondary place in family. Women were brought up according to a strictdiscipline and have been traditionally less educated than men.

Aftermarriage, woman became housewife and mother. She was expected to bedepended upon her husband, took care of children and even grandchildrenas well as performed all household tasks. A wife can be unhappy in hermarriage, nevertheless, rather than accepts divorce; the familyencouraged her to sacrifice and to endure the difficulties of themarriage for the sake of her children.

InVietnam, family meal is very important. It is one part of a happyfamily especially when people become busier with their business. Insome big cities such as Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh, parents are always busy.They have to get up early in the morning
to take their childrento schools before going to work. In the past, a wife often preparesbreakfast for the whole family but this tradition or habit has beenignored somehow due to limited time.

Thesedays, the value of family’s meals has been still highly appreciated asdinner is an opportunity for them to share a meal and talk togetherafter a hard day. That the reason why restaurants have still beenstrange to many people and families in Vietnam. For many people, familymeal is one way to keep their family happy. The meal is not simplyunderstood as lunch or dinner; it can be understood as feeling andsympathy, sharing and care. In many Vietnam families, the wives knowwhich are their husbands' or children' favorite dishes. Then, they tryto make those dishes as frequently they can or at least on specialoccasions.

Comeback to the parental role in Vietnamese family. Obedience and respectwere the traditional virtues which Vietnamese children were taught toexhibit in their family. Discipline and physical punishment wereacceptable remedies for disobedience. When parents grew old, childrenwere expected to take care of them to compensate for the gift of birthand upbringing.

Boysand girls are not free to do what they want. Yet, girls are understrict supervision. Western style courtship and romance were seen asinappropriate things for unmarried children. As virginity is cherished,pregnancy out of wedlock is a grave disgrace to the family. For theirchildren's marriage, parents generally made decision because they couldjudge better.

Vietnameseplaced a higher value on education rather than on material success.That the reason why parents encouraged their children to study andexcel in their education. Vietnamese parents had a high regard for itwhich was considered as a way for family advancement.